When a man and a woman get married, they become meat. Yes, it is about the body — but it also contains emotions, food, shelter, economy, property, and all the other things people need to survive in this world. To be a flesh is to have all this in common. The best decision is to oppose such an agreement, but often external pressure can strongly influence the decision. Make sure that prayer is always at the forefront when it comes to asking how God always knows better than anyone what is best for our weddings. In an age of adulterers and complex family structures, our cynical culture and secular lawyers portray as stupid or naïve those who marry without pre-nup. Before the wedding day, we are warned that intelligent couples should agree in writing what will happen when the marriage dissolves. But is there anything good about this pessimistic advice? Should Christians begin their sacred marriage as if it were another matter? Is it healthy that a man and a woman in the days or weeks before being united in the eyes of God as “one flesh” are forced to negotiate as legal adversaries, each with their own lawyers, against each other? As a Christian lawyer, I believe that pre-marital agreements tend to undermine the conjugal relationship and place the holy covenant on a wobbly ground from the beginning. God calls man and woman to be united – to live in one, to share freely, to trust and to honor and to love each other in every way. But even the process of creating and executing a pre-Nup glorifies a contrary perspective that is destructive and disruptive to marriage.
The whole psychology of pre-marital arrangements encourages each spouse to consider himself separated from the other, to be suspicious of the other and to cling firmly to “who is yours” and to preserve him from the other! It`s the opposite of unity! I know that my thoughts on pre-nups run counter to what most lawyers would consider to be a “real” legal thought. Certainly, my perspective does not correspond to the traditional model of the world`s default law for engaged couples. But as a Christian lawyer, I have no choice but to consider the legal issues we face from a biblical Christian perspective. I answer to a higher authority, and that authority says, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and clings to his wife, and they become flesh.” (Genesis 2:24 NRSV) “For the man who does not love his wife, but who separates from her,” said the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his robe with strength, says the Lord of the armies. So keep your mind in mind and don`t be incredulous. Nothing should be out of bounds, even feelings. This is more important than any solution, how you decide to solve this problem and respond to what has been discovered.